pumblepenguin:

I love the show and respect the writers but there’s no way in hell a 14 year old girl is gonna turn down a hot powerful angsty 16 year old firelord prince for a 12 year old monk

Being born a woman is an awful tragedy. Yes, my consuming desire to mingle with road crews, sailors and soldiers, bar room regulars—to be a part of a scene, anonymous, listening, recording—all is spoiled by the fact that I am a girl, a female always in danger of assault and battery. My consuming interest in men and their lives is often misconstrued as a desire to seduce them, or as an invitation to intimacy. Yet, God, I want to talk to everybody I can as deeply as I can. I want to be able to sleep in an open field, to travel west, to walk freely at night.

star wars characters as john mulaney quotes

anakinskydala:

anakin: when my wife walks down the street, she does not give a shit what anyone thinks of her in any situation. she’s my hero. when i walk down the street, i need everybody, all day long, to like me so much. it’s exhausting.

padme: you have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair.

obi wan: i’ll keep all my emotions right here. and then one day, i’ll die.

palpatine: and then i said “no.” you know, like a liar.

leia: some people give off a vibe of, right away, they’re like, “do not fuck with me.”

luke: my vibe is more like “hey, you could pour soup in my lap and i’d probably apologize to you.”

han: they’re like, “does that work?” i’m like, “it didn’t NOT work.”

lando: hi, i’m very gay and i’d like a few dollars.

rey: i have had a very long day. i am very small and i have no money. so you can imagine the kind of stress i’m under.

finn: you know those days where you’re like, “this might as well happen”?

poe: i don’t care for these new nazis and you may quote me on that.

kylo: when i’m walking down the street, no one’s ever like, “hey! look at that man!” i think they’re just like, “whoa, that tall child looks terrible! get some rest, tall child!”

rose: i try to stay optimistic, even though i must admit, things are getting pretty sticky.